How To Stop Being a Perfectionist

Are you the type of a person who needs to have all of his or her i's dotted and t's crossed before taking any action?

Do you sometimes find yourself unable to start, even after you've done all the preparation and planning, because you're just afraid of not having things not turn out exactly perfect?

Well what if I told you that trying to make things perfect before you can start moving is stopping you from making major shifts in your life?

I've learned that there's an image in a perfectionist mind that he or she is trying to accomplish, and it is almost always rooted in making a good impression on OTHERS. 

Or to say it differently, it is rooted in the FEAR of NOT making a good impression. 

Perfectionists are essentially, afraid. 

They are afraid that what they do won't be GOOD ENOUGH... so they keep extending the time to prepare and make everything "perfect".

But I've learned that the fear of something not being good enough almost always comes from the feeling that the PERSON isn't good enough.

And whatever we feel we're lacking on the INSIDE, we will try to create on the OUTSIDE. 

Whatever we feel we lack on the INSIDE, we will try to make up for it on the OUTSIDE. 

Omir Dzelilovic

So a person who feels isn't GOOD ENOUGH... will always try to create things on the outside that are "good enough"...

Thus, becoming a perfectionist. 

Perfectionism is a FABRICATION of our mind. It is actually something that doesn't exist, but we humans created it.

If you take a look, it DOES NOT exist in nature. 

Mark Zuckerberg created this mantra around Facebook that states:

"Done Is Better Than Perfect
- Mark Zuckerberg

Point being, it's far better to have something DONE and get it out in the world, so the people can give feedback, than it is to try to create something to be perfect from the first try. 

Why?

Because getting it out there will give you FEEDBACK. And feedback is always a good thing. 

If it's positive feedback, you know what you've done right, so you can do it again next time. 

And if it's negative feedback, you know what to change. 

​Feedback gives you the chance to implement changes, so the thing can become more perfect.

Another aspect of trying to make things perfect is in the fear of making a MISTAKE. 

A while back this dude Nassim Taleb wrote a very good book, called ANTIFRAGILE. 

ANTIFRAGILE by Nassim Taleb

And in it, he talked about how things have to go through a stage of being FRAGILE in order to become stronger, or as he puts it, ANTIFRAGILE. 

As an example, the way aviation develops is by getting those planes off the ground and moving, and when an accident happens, they use it to make the next plane safer. 

However, if they waited and waited and then waited some more to make it perfect before they got people on board and fly... we'd still be crossing the ocean in wooden boats. 

You simply HAVE to get things moving BEFORE they are "perfect" and LEARN from the feedback you receive... and make it BETTER. 

I've once heard a stroy from Tony Robbins that I think can solidify this point.

When General Schwartzkopf assumed command of the United States Central Command in 1988,  he was presented with a difficult decision that needed to be made. 

There were 2 options, A or B. 

They all had this big meeting where the general was presented with all the facts, the pro's and the con's of making both decisions. 

They explained to him that the decision is highly important and will affect the course of the entire military force in the future. 

General listened carefully, and when they were done, he simply said: 

"Do option B."

And was done with it. 

They all looked at him in shock, at how could he make the decision so quick. 

He looked at them and said something in the ways of: "Indecision is worse than making a bad decision. At least we got this out of the way and can move forward."

Indecision is WORSE than making a BAD decision.

At some point, you just have to get OFF the fence and decide... EVEN if the decision isn't optimal, and even if the decision will lead to some sort of a mistake. 

Because it is FAR WORSE to stay stuck on something, than it is to do it and have it not turn out the way you wanted to.

Why?

Well do you remember what we said about feedback?

Making a decision, any kind of a decision will give you feedback. And you'll be able to use the feedback to make the thing better than it was. 

So where are you trying to make things perfect?

Where are you unable to take action because you're afraid of what others will think, that it won't be good enough or that you'll simply make a bad decision that will lead to a mistake?

Whatever it is, remember these 3 things:

1. Perfectionism doesn't exist. It's something we people made up in our mind. 
2. Feedback and criticism from people is a GOOD thing, because it will give you the chance to do it better next time. Don't try to make it perfect the first time you go at it. 
3. Indecision is FAR WORSE than making a bad decision. So get off the fence and start moving!

Comment below on what is an action step you keep procrastinate on because you don't feel it's perfect. Share it with us!